Lab Of The Weird - Declaring War On Boredom!

Hello again.  This section serves no purpose whatsoever except to list a bunch of stuff we found interesting. (Well, compared to the usual drivel on television anyway!)

If you think this makes us strange, what about the people who sit at their desk 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 20 years just to get a cheap gold watch at the end of it?  See, we're positively normal in comparison!

Anyway, if you have anything you think we may like, drop us a line by clicking here otherwise scroll down.

 

The Power Of Good Copy

Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the bush, riding in your ute, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxxxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

Over 5,000 men rang and found themselves talking to the RSPCA about an eight week-old black Labrador Retriever puppy.

 

Dyslexic People Are Normal

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

 

Time Poor?

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.


To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realise the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.


To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.


Things To Ponder

Why does a gynaecologist leave the room when women get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why do baby clothes have pockets?


Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic"?

If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your arse?

 

Are You Open To Suggestion?

A mute wants to buy a toothbrush so he walks into a chemist and imitates the action of brushing his teeth.  Because he successfully expresses himself, the shopkeeper understands and the purchase is made.

Now imagine a blind man wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses. (Yes, we know this could be unlikely, just stay with us!) How do you think he would express himself to the sales assistant?

Come on, think about it.

Well, if you said all he had to do was open his mouth and ask, then you'd be smart ... however if you didn't, you'd best keep your head down, never breed and pretend this whole sorry episode never happened!

 

Definition Of Intelligence

If you can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of The Lone Ranger, the people of Cynic will officially bestow the honour of 'Intelligent' upon you!!! (We've not met anyone who can do it yet!)


Click Here For Something Totally Weird.  We Mean It, It's REALLY, REALLY Strange!!!

Click Here To See The Fundamental Differences Between Men And Women!!!

Click Here To Learn Why We Hate (most) Management Consultants

Click Here To Learn The Irony Of The Rat Race

Click Here For A 'Fact-Or-Fiction' Story